Tag: Jonathan Dimbleby

Cameron, Clegg, Milliband and Farage Treat Worlds Like Dust

Part 2 of my 2015 Election Wacky Races. Part 1 is here.

This week, with Ed Millipede, amazingly, one point in the lead, the four front-runners take a pit stop and take part in Question Time.

David Caravan
David Caravan

Question Time with Jonathan Dimbleby this week is from King’s College Hospital London and we are discussing the way the NHS has changed under the present Conservative Government; in particular how cuts are affecting the health of patients. We are very lucky to have with us all the current main four Party leaders.

And first I would like to go to David Caravan and ask him whether he thinks his Party’s cuts have gone too far.

David Caravan: Actually, no, I don’t think they have. While I do see, of course, that the tightening of our medical belts – or is that gastric belts, ha! ha! – might represent a challenge to the 20 million odd OAPs, who we are planning to ban from the NHS – oo sorry, George told me not to tell you that – I don’t think for most hard-working people with two legs and two arms, it is a problem. You can still cut off the head of the beast, the NHS beast, and have it function normally. In fact, that is half the problem. It is like a Cerberus. You just can’t kill it! In fact, I think there might be an argument, if the research were done and if it proved feasible, and if trials on children are successful, that we might envisage a situation where working people – patients – might actually not need their heads any more, as such. (Holds his hands up). Now, I know what you are thinking. But a simple medical procedure to painlessly remove the said thinking container would be simple, cheap and effective. There would no longer be a need to feed patients, and the Workers – sorry the hard-workers of this Country, won’t need to think anymore. Indeed, they won’t be able to. This will make Politics and Ruling the Country a whole lot simpler. Continue reading “Cameron, Clegg, Milliband and Farage Treat Worlds Like Dust”