This week: OCD update and Hot off the Press: an extract from my forthcoming sci-fi novel Worlds like Dust, about replicants in a battle to save Earth.
I finished my course of therapy over a month ago but that is not where the treament ends. My therapist recommended a great book for me – The OCD Workbook: Your Guide to Breaking Free from Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder. There is a scheme in the USA and now in the UK to get copies of this from your library. It’s called Books on Prescription so go to your library and find out about the scheme, if you need the book. I can recommend it. A link to this book will be available from now on if you go to my OCD page.
I managed the first few chapters without difficulty over the last 2 weeks but when it came to ERP (Exposure and Response Prevention) I hit a barrier. My belief that something bad will happen is way higher than the book accepts as practical for this exercise. Too bad they only told me that after I did the exercise. Ha! Ha! THe book recommends a limit of 70% and I am 90%.
So the book then recommended that I skip to Chapter 7 and try Imaginal Exposure. I have never heard of this, but it sounded great. I always feel that I have fears I simply am unable to articulate, even to myself. In this exercise you have to write down the situation and outcome you most fear. I won’t reveal my own fears, but the document does make pretty grim reading! I am not easily shocked, but I was surprised by what I wrote. You then need a means of reading it back to yourself, for an hour each day. I chose to use the Windows application Narrator although I had to slow the speed down a bit to get maximum effect (I need time to visualise each event). This then needs to be repeated until the belief comes down to about 40%
So far, mine went up slightly and now has dropped to 70%. I have a long way to go. The books suggests that this should take about 2 weeks but I guess there is no limit. It’s hard to imagine I will drop to 70% in 2 weeks, but I hope so. At the moment I am finding it really tough. This exercise is without doubt the hardest thing I have tried during my battle to kick OCD. It is putting a strain on my relationship. But I must continue. I hope I will have good news in a few weeks.
Hot off the Press
What is it like to be a replicant? Will replicants inherit the Earth? These questions I explore in my forthcoming Science Fiction novel Worlds like Dust. For any that have followed the Iron Series you will remember that in Iron I: Too Bright the Sun, Jake Nanden started out feeling persecuted and isolated as an alien. All that changed. Now the story continues. The story has expanded somewhat, from my original draft, so Worlds like Dust will be published in two volumes. Below is an excerpt from near the end, where I am in my last but one edit. This is so hot off the press. I revised it between writing the last sentence of the blog and posting it!
Worlds Like Dust
Copyright © 2014 by Lazlo Ferran
All Rights Reserved
Exiting onto Deck 41, we encountered three Ischians guarding the approach to the recycler section. However, their backs were turned to us. I drew my knife silently from its cloth pouch and stealthily crept after the rearmost alien. The noise of battle covered my approach but even so it swung to face me just before my blade reached the jugular vein in his neck. Two of my grunts were right behind me. Grabbing my Ischian as it turned, I drove my blade as deep into his neck as I could. The Ischian’s weight and strength were enough to send me spinning with it as it continued to turn. Orange blood sprayed my face as we crashed into the wall. The alien grabbed my arms and tried to push me away. I released the blade, leaving it in his neck; an old trick I learned in my frontline service days on Io. The Ischian let go of me and grabbed for the blade which was futile. The damage was already done. I stood up and kicked his arm as it grabbed for the blade, wrenching the blade into his neck at an angle. Something grabbed me from behind just as my victim bellowed in agony and went into convulsions.”
“Got him!” somebody shouted behind me. Suddenly the huge arms released me and I fell to my knees. I glanced behind me to see two men sitting on one dead alien and three more on the other, which was still struggling. As I watched, both aliens managed to get to their feet. Both were cocking their lasers and it looked like it would be all over for us. I searched wildly on the ground for my Ischian’s laser and found; a clover leaf carbine. I wrenched it from its position, half under the alien, cocked it and fired wildly at the aliens. Both went down with gaping holes in their chests, but not before one of my grunts was wounded in the leg.
“Never seen it done sir!” said the nearest grunt to me. “Read about it. We never thought you really could kill an Ischun this way, but you showed us!”
“Alright!” I said, gasping. “Let’s keep moving. Give that man a hand!”
Things became a little hotter as we neared Dragodes’ position.
Do you think it’s inevitable that replicants will inherit the Earth? Have your say by leaving a comment.