Introduction – 1 February, 2019
I don’t know when I first conceived of The Hole Inside the Earth, but the idea to write something that spanned the whole of man’s existence from early times to the far future has been around for a long time. I think I first started writing Green and then the other colours in the Autumn of 2015 and I remember needing one more thread as I only had 6, so I started Indigo on a very cold day in Jan or early Feb 2016. Until now, I often thought I would abandon it. In fact, in the early days, it was just an experiment, and I don’t think I or anybody else thought I would finish it. But now I am through the worst. There have been times over the last year when I just had to make a huge effort to keep going and I think it affected me physically. I only started this diary in 2019, but then again, it’s the first time I felt that I could see light at the end of the tunnel.
nb: HITE is my acronym for The Hole Inside the Earth.
2 February, 2019
I finished Indigo 9 in the afternoon. I realise that actually I am a bit afraid of HITE, because it is such a huge undertaking. It may well be my last, major project. I am thinking of having Chaka become corrupt because of the allure of the splinter of blue wood in Drul’a’s pouch. I am also thinking about having Omacron fall in the river at the top of the Altar mountain and somehow float down through an underground stream and come out in the Caves of the Orange Giant.
One last thought on fear; I feel that there is tremendous fear in the world right now. The fear seems to be of global recession, but I think this is tied to the changing political climate. I feel we are slowly moving to the left, and perhaps people on the right fear this and put up a struggle. Anyway, there is tremendous fear around, possibly exacerbated by fear of technological progress too.
3 February, 2019
I slept well last night, but I had an amusing dream. I was competing with another guy to descend this mountain first. It involved bob-sleighs, skis and eventually running and falling. I fell down this sheer cliff and into a complex set of concrete tunnels, like a bunker, surrounded by a river. The water flowed into the tunnels and carried me down and down, round lots of bends until I passed a small opening, inside which a man was writing at a desk.
I said, “Where the Hell am I?”
He replied, “I guess you were on holiday and got lost.”
I replied, “Holiday? Who said anything about a holiday!”
Still bloody cold. About 19 degrees in here, about 0 outside. Will put heating on soon.
I wanted to start Violet 9, but didn’t really have any ideas so sat in bed most of the afternoon, thinking about it (it was a Sunday, so who cares?)
I finished the evening watching Triple Cross with Christopher Plummer (who I don’t really like as an actor and the film is shit, but I kind of enjoyed it, because I didn’t have to concentrate and could think about problems, and then I spent an hour more thinking. I feel like I have lost my mojo in the last week or so. I seem to get edgy at dusk, more than usual, which I can only put down to paranoia or lack of confidence (same thing?).
16 February, 2019
So busy today! Jadson is near the end of designing the cover for HITE, and I really want to get it out in a newsletter, so that I can get feedback from fans before we finalise it. I also want to get it up on Instagram, so that others can see it. Stopped listening to Led Zeppelin, because I don’t want to get bored of the albums.
13 March, 2019
Yet another day of slogging. Editing is really getting me down and making it even harder to write HITE. But I worked out last night that if I can write 1000 words per day, I will finish HITE before end of this year. I will aim for this.
11 April, 2019
Have had almost constant back pain/stiffness on right side of hip for last month. I have had this before during stress, usually from women, but it usually goes quite quickly. This is really hanging around. No idea what’s causing it. . Maybe the back pain is the constant pressure of coming up with ideas. I write 1000 words every day. Its not a lot, but to keep coming up with fresh ideas is hard.
14 April, 2019
My back/hip is really bad now. I can barely walk and find it hard to sleep. The pain is a constant dull ache, turning into sharp pain when I move.
17 April, 2019
I was feeling too ill to enter anything today. I went for a walk, and struggled for much of the distance. Wrote last section of Blue, Chapter 10 before taking a break from writing.
[I took a break from writing]
25 April, 2019
Worked out much of the final climax of HITE. Hurt by head a bit then! But hurt my leg a lot more at night.
8 May, 2019
Started Green, Chapter 11. Leg improving but still a bit stiff. It’s frustrating me that I can’t use the bike or do sit-ups, but there’s no point trying until I can walk freely.
10 May, 2019
Wrote a battle scene in Green, Chapter 11, which flowed nicely, but I felt shit after. I had to spend all evening trying to convince myself (against a bad headache) that I want to write about this war, because Tantor simply would launch such a war to save himself and his ideas. Sometimes, war happens.
12 June, 2019
Wrote the death of Zang scene, which is about the most depressing I have ever written.
12 July, 2019
Had an easy day, because I chose to only write 600 words to compensate for the previous day. Felt a bit better. I am on to I12 now.
11 July, 2019
Nearly went crazy trying to get all the elements of the story to fit yesterday. Sorry to say I felt worse after, despite hours of trying to sort my head out. It’s like they say – I needed to sit in a darkened room for a while, but somebody kept flicking the light on and off.
1 August, 2019
Wrote the deployment part of main battle. Very exciting!
2 September, 2019
Wrote end of Yellow!
24 September, 2019
Started Blue, Chapter 14 – the last chapter! Lakan selling Nim’a’s meat.
29 September, 2019
Finished the main volumes! Wow! Now I just have to write the concluding volume: The Sea of Lost Intentions.
26 October, 2019
I finished HITE. I have some editing to do, but perhaps I will be able to write about other things here soon.
27 October, 2019
Working now on publishing the last parts of HITE, including the Appendices
28 October, 2019
It feels strange not be writing or editing. I published right up to Volume 14 yesterday and today I will start registering volumes with the British Library
31 October, 2019
Thought a bit about The Orange Tree [which I had put aside since 2017] and prepared 1 December mailshot.
Note from author: I will upload more content from my diary if there’s enough interest.